Now, I was very curious because I had already seen on social media that he had harshly decried that abuse of any kind was an abomination. Indeed, the first part of his talk did vehemently denounce abuse. As I listened approvingly, I realized that his words sounded very similar to the church’s defensive statement against the AP News article in August about the tragic sexual abuse that went unreported for seven years. I wholeheartedly agree with these statements of rebuke. The problem lies in what follows afterward and the increasingly defensive tone. It has sadly become a predictable formula used time and time again. I noticed this distinct pattern in both the August church statements and our prophet’s talk on Saturday morning:
Step 1: Condemn the immoral behavior (in this case abuse).
Step 2: Laud all the ways the church prevents and protects members from such behavior.
Step 3: Caution members to only heed the truth coming from church sources because other sources cannot be trusted as truth.
Step 4: Avoid any responsibility for past harmful procedures, any apologies, or commitment for improvement.
Step 1: Condemn the immoral behavior.
Pres. Nelson, Oct. 2022 Sat. morning session:
“Abuse constitutes the influence of the adversary. It is a grievous sin. As president of the church, I affirm the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ on this issue. Let me be perfectly clear: Any kind of abuse of women, children or anyone is an abomination to the Lord. He grieves and I grieve whenever anyone is harmed. He mourns, and we all mourn, for each person who has fallen victim to abuse of any kind. Those who perpetrate these hideous acts are not only accountable to the laws of man, but will also face the wrath of almighty God.”
Aug 5, 2022 church news statement:
“The abuse of a child or any other individual is inexcusable. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believes this, teaches this, and dedicates tremendous resources and efforts to prevent, report and address abuse. Our hearts break for these children and all victims of abuse.”
Pres. Nelson, Oct. 2022 Sat. morning session:
“For decades now the church has taken extensive measures to protect, in particular, children from abuse. There are many aids on the church website. I invite you to study them. These guidelines are in place to protect the innocent.”
Aug 5, 2022 church news statement:
“The help line is just one of many safeguards put in place by the Church. Any member serving in a role with children or youth is required to complete a training every few years about how to watch for, report and address abuse. Leaders and members are offered resources on how to prevent, address and report abuse of any kind.”
A few things about this step. It feels pretentious, defensive, and gaslight-y. First it feels like egotistical bragging, nothing humble about this approach. Second, it carries a very defensive tone as if the church is the one being persecuted, not innocent victims. Third, it erroneously tells members to believe that we’ve always protected our vulnerable and always will. It alludes to no weaknesses in the system and that this protective system has always been impervious. This attitude defiantly discredits members’ own widespread lived experiences and many memories to the contrary.
Our church only started the two teachers/leaders mandate and our own youth protection training video a few years ago. Before that we used the Boy Scout’s youth protection training. And anyone outside of scouts had no youth protection training mandate that I know of. So, I have no idea what our prophet is talking about when he says extensive measures for decades.
Also, it took me several minutes to find the “many aids” on the church website. Once I did, it does look like there are many helpful resources for victims and leaders wanting additional abuse awareness training, which is great. So, WHY AM I (and countless others) ONLY NOW FINDING OUT ABOUT THESE RESOURCES?!? These resources are obscurely hidden, not talked about, and definitely not mandated for teachers or leaders to read up on. In short, if we own a tool, but rarely or never use it, what good is it accomplishing?
Step 3: Caution members to only heed the truth coming from church sources because other sources cannot be trusted as truth.
Pres. Nelson, Oct. 2022 Sat. morning session:
“The adversary has other disturbing tactics. Among them are his efforts to blur the line between what is true and what is not true. The flood of information available on our fingertips ironically makes it increasingly difficult to determine what is true.”
Aug 5, 2022 church news statement:
“The nature and the purpose of the Church’s help line was seriously mischaracterized in a recent Associated Press article. . . The story presented in the AP article is oversimplified and incomplete and is a serious misrepresentation of the Church and its efforts.”
This feels like another manipulative form of gaslighting where the truth we’ve gained from lived experience and from reputable sources are negated. Only church approved truth is capital “T” truth.
Step 4: Avoid any responsibility for past harmful procedures (or lack thereof), avoid any apologies, and don’t offer any commitment for improvement.
No quotes to add here because this is the “nothing to see here” phenomenon. This is the part where if any of us have had experiences counter to what has just been professed as truth, then it must be our error, because the church doesn’t make mistakes and certainly has nothing to apologize for.
I find it also unsettling that the prophet’s talk was very obviously in response to the AP News sex abuse scandal, yet it wasn’t mentioned at all. It was unspoken, in such a weird, awkward, opaque way.
Key points summarized from this Provo Herald news article:
- 33 states give an exemption to mandated reporting for clergy IF the church deems it privileged information (which our church regularly does).
- This loophole results in an unknown number of predators to go on unreported.
- Across numerous states in the past 20 years, over 130 bills proposed to eliminate this loophole have failed, in large part due to the Roman Catholic and Mormon churches lobbying against them.
- The clergy-penitent privilege is not protected in the First Amendment’s guarantee of freedom of religion.
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So while many are applauding and praising our prophet for his stern words against abuse. My heart longs for a bit different verbal pattern. I imagine something like this instead:
“Some of you may have read the Associated Press news about a tragic sex abuse case involving our church. I’m so sorry for the pain and confusion this news has caused. We especially mourn for the victims involved and the prolonged trauma ensued. We have learned so much from this experience as a church institution and we vow to do better.
“In the past, we have fought for the sanctity of confidentiality for our members’ confessions to their bishops. This confidentiality is known as clergy-penitent privilege. We thought that by protecting this religious right that it would more readily encourage members to talk to their bishops in their repentance process, but we are reassessing our priorities now. We want members to still include their bishops in serious repentance issues, but not at the expense of prolonging abuse of innocent victims. We apologize with all the tenderness of our hearts to any and all victims hurt and traumatized because of our previously well-meaning but flawed approach. If we can save even one soul by adjusting our legal stance, then we cannot hesitate. We, as a church institution, must change now.
“We vow that in every locality legally allowed, we will always report suspected or confessed abuse, even if the option for clergy-penitent privilege exists. We will not allow leaders to claim this loophole as an excuse for not reporting. Saving women and children from abusive situations is our highest priority.
“We are also updating our youth protection training system and urge all leaders to view and study the material on our church website. We can all unite in this cause to protect the most vulnerable in our fold. This is worth a continued effort from us all to become more aware and educated in abuse prevention and detection. “The worth of souls is great in the sight of God . . . And if it so be that you should labor all your days . . . and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy.” (D&C 18: 10, 15)