I’m depressed AND I’m manic.
I can be overly tolerant and merciful, AND I can harshly judge at other times.
I can be overly contemplative AND very oblivious about other things.
I’m confident in many of my abilities AND at the same time insecure.
I’m overly passionate and outspoken AND also unsure and anxious to act.
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There is pronounced duality in all of us. This duality adds a rich depth and authenticity to our character that keeps us humble and real. So why not our apostles and prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? To follow up a little more from my previous post about President Nelson, I want to clarify my dualistic thoughts.
I have a profound respect and love for these men. I believe that they are men of God. I believe that they have been called by God to lead our church at this time. I believe that they have priesthood authority to receive revelation for the church. In essence, they are prophets, seers, and revelators for our church institution and general church members. I believe that they are holy, well-intentioned, highly educated men. For the most part, I believe they’ve done an inspiring job maintaining a billion-dollar church entity and making complicated decisions in its behalf.
These above beliefs are aligned with the majority of the members of our church. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Here’s where I may depart slightly:
I believe that these are godly men AND also fallible men.
There are many principles that stem from this simple AND statement that create cognitive dissonance in many members.
The first principle is that it can be AND. They can most definitely be both of these things at the same time. It doesn’t have to be a binary either/or statement.
These men of God can receive revelation for the members of the church AND also state some of their own personal opinions and beliefs at the same time.
These men of God can be full of faith and confidence in the restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ AND still gaslight or sugarcoat some of the messiness of historic church events and past leaders.
These men of God can be focused on proper money management with tithing revenue AND withhold transparency in budgetary systems.
These men of God can see patterns of struggle and weakness in the dynamics of church membership AND create missionary mandates that erode a young man’s agency.
These men of God can be merciful and nonjudging AND still expect exact obedience when they speak.
These men of God can be reverent, gentle, humble leaders AND avoid any apologies for harm done to members by institutional policies or doctrines.
These men of God can make helpful, needful changes in church policies or administration AND give no explanation as to why these changes were made or how the past ways were incorrect.
These men of God can be empathetic, loving, caring leaders AND still say things that feel intolerant, exclusive, and even hurtful.
These men of God can see the world in its full spectrum of color AND still be strictly black and white minded.
These men of God lovingly want what’s best for us AND they try to coerce, guilt, or manipulate us into doing what they think is best for us.
These men of God can praise and honor women AND still adhere to the strict patriarchal systems that limit women's representation and leadership opportunities in our church.
These men of God can receive general revelation for the church members AND we can receive our own personal inspiration that may differ slightly.
These men can be holy, godly men AND still fallible.
I can love these men of God with all my heart AND still express some disappointment or long for more.
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Why might some members have issues with these AND statements?
Here are some of my guesses:
We have a very strong mentality ingrained within us from an early age to “Follow the Prophet” because he will never lead us astray. “Astray” ends up being interpreted in extreme ways to the point where some feel that our prophet and leaders will never make mistakes and certainly never publicly make statements that are incorrect for the church. I’m not so certain.
Some may find it easier to almost blindly follow our prophet and apostles because it’s easier than spiritually educating and discerning for ourselves. We use their judgment and counsel to replace our own inner conscience and personal revelatory experience.
Some may have a hard time grasping with the concept that everything out of the prophet’s mouth is not always the word of God. How are they to know which statements are of men and which are of God? It can create a domino effect of trust issues. Really it just takes a bit of personal spiritual discernment.
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Ultimately, our Savior Jesus Christ is the only infallible individual who has ever walked this Earth. He is the only one who can claim that imperviously perfect state. He is the one we all look towards for light and knowledge and unconditional healing and love.
Jesus Christ is the perfect AND statement.
He honors justice AND extends mercy. He died for us AND was resurrected for us. He sees us how we are now AND who we will someday become. He loves us all universally AND customizes his love to the individual.
It’s okay that our AND characteristics aren’t as perfect. They weren’t meant to be, not even for prophets and apostles.
And I’m okay with that.